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There’s a dangerous misunderstanding that often follows the teaching I give.
When people take statements like ‘you’re already enlightened’ out of context, this can lead to spiritual bypassing.
The practitioner who doesn’t take the time to understand the nuance of this teaching thinks, ’oh, I’m already enlightened—that means I don’t have to practice! That means I don’t have to address my high blood pressure or my unpaid rent or my unresolved generational trauma!’
’Those things aren’t real,’ thinks that practitioner. But they are missing a crucial point: nonduality is not about denying appearances. All traditional teachings worth their salt state, in one way or another, that the things we encounter in the relative world are vividly apparent, yet lacking independent existence.
This is not the same as saying ’nothing matters; it’s not important whether you live as a saint or a slob.’
‘Vividly apparent’ means ‘undeniable’. Whether international borders exist in the ultimate sense is irrelevant when a nation is preparing to defend against an invasion. At the same time, we can say humanity would be far better off if we dissolved such abstract notions altogether. As a practitioner, you must get comfortable with this kind of paradox.
‘Lacking independent existence’ means that your business, for example—though you may take it to exist in some absolute sense—is ultimately illusory. On one level, it is apparent: it’s silly to deny, outright, the existence of your business. But on another level, what you call ‘your business’ is actually an aggregate of interdependent causes and conditions, none of them separate from one another—and this aggregate, in fact, can be said to extend all the way back to the beginning of the universe. In other words, your business could not exist if not for everything that came before it. On another level still, your business is simply a spontaneous display of the dynamic energy of awareness, and anything that can be said about it is mere speculation.
So what does correct understanding and realization look like?
Well, a student asked Ziji Rinpoche one time, ‘how can we tell if someone is really Enlightened?’ She responded, ‘it’s so utterly simple: someone who is Enlightened is of benefit.’
It’s been said that Enlightenment and apathy can outwardly look the same. I disagree. One who sits in meditation while the world burns around them is lacking compassion, and compassion is naturally-arising once true realization has occurred.
Spiritual bypassing is not to be confused with acceptance. In spiritual bypassing, one says ‘the world is burning, oh well. It’s sad but it’s not my problem.’ But in acceptance, one says ‘the fire is not my fault but it is my responsibility’. Not responsibility as in obligation but, rather, as in response-ability. The less attached, confused, self-centered one is, the more able they are to help. The less emotional baggage one is dragging around, the more hands they have free. And helping others, in Awakening, occurs as naturally as breathing.
The takeaway, here, is that you must take great care to not slip into apathy and call it Awakening. Detachment occurs in both apathy and Awakening, but the difference is that the Awakened one takes compassionate action from that detachment as opposed to just sitting in their own comfort.
If your response to problems, whether ‘inner’ or ‘outer’, is to simply ignore them—bypass them by applying some weak spiritual philosophy like ‘they don’t really exist’—you are no good to yourself, let alone anyone else. If you neglect to pay your rent, you’ll end up homeless, struggling to take care of your basic needs. If you neglect to address your psycho-emotional issues, you’ll end up worse off than one who engages in the most basic therapy or mainstream self-help materials. Spirituality of any kind is never an excuse to neglect anything. The power of the nondual teaching lies in its ability to cut through attachment, desire and aversion. It is not about ignoring them.
If this discussion is too nuanced for you, there is nothing wrong whatsoever in engaging in deliberate, relativistic practices like developmental meditation as you continue to contemplate the teaching on nonduality. Indeed—as I’ve said before—to abandon deliberate practices too soon is a great error.
To put it simply: if, when you meditate, you experience greater clarity, contentment, peace etc… And if when you don’t meditate you experience that these qualities diminish, keep meditating. Though you may understand, intellectually, my assertion that these qualities are actually facets of your ‘default mode’—and that all you need do is rest as awareness—if, when you abandon your meditation practice, you end up a grumpy, agitated, anxious mess, keep meditating.
If you need help deciding when to engage in or let go of certain practices, I’m here to help. The first step is to take my 1-minute quiz, following which I’ll email you to discuss your next step.
With love from my sofa,
dg💙
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