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DAN KOE

ALEX MATHERS

TAYLIN SIMMONDS

Founder, KorteX
3.5M followers

medium.com top writer
120K followers

BRAND CONSULTANT
79K followers

★★★★★

★★★★★

★★★★★

★★★★★

"If you want practical strategies to maximize your own well-being, then create a profitable internet business around your passions, interests and curiosities – Goldfield is your guy."

DAN KOE

Social media makes people feel inadequate.

And we’re beginning to realize that this is a feature of these apps… and how terribly unhealthy that is.

Because here’s the problem:

There’ll always be more things you’re bad at than things you’re good at.

Pre-internet, no-one had to face this reality often.

If you were around in 1200 A.D. England, there would’ve been the King, the Queen and their council to look up to. These were the only celebrities.

You’d have seen them very rarely. And when you did, it would’ve felt like they were from another reality.

But on social media, all you have to do to is flick your thumb to see:

  • The best DJ
  • The best artist
  • The best singer
  • The best writer
  • The best model
  • The best speaker
  • The best bodybuilder

And their posts are in the same format as yours. (But they have way more likes.)

The best of everything is just a scroll away.

So how do you fight this sense of inadequacy?

How do you even approach the level you need to be at to compete with these people?

What Everyone Gets Wrong About Self-Help

Firstly, the “self” everyone’s trying to help doesn’t exist.

If you’ve never heard any spiritual teachings this will sound crazy to you, but stay with me…

What you’re referring to when you say the word “me” is a mental image.

You have a concept of yourself, and you think that’s who you really are.

So what happens when someone gets hit on the head by a falling coconut then wakes up with no memories?

Have they stopped being “them”?

Well, it depends what you take to be “them”.

If you take “them” to be their body then they’re still “them”. (Perhaps they’re even more “them” now that they have a big lump on their head.)

But if an old friend texted them to ask about some shared experience, that old friend might doubt that it was really “them” on the other end of the phone.

All this is to say that “you” are not so easily defined as you’ve been led to believe.

So Who The Hell Are You?

Most people have had this particular spooky experience while looking in the mirror:

“I feel I’m the same “me” looking out from behind my eyes as I was when I was a kid.”

“My face has changed…”

“My thoughts have changed…”

“Everything about me has changed… yet I feel the same…”

Spoiler; you are the same “you”, but that “you” isn’t looking out from behind your eyes.

The “you” you’ve always been is nothing but awareness.

Because awareness is the only common ingredient in all your experiences.

Sensations come and go.

Thoughts come and go.

Feelings come and go.

But awareness remains.

So what does this mean with regard to self-improvement?

“Original Sin” is Just Superstition

Almost all self-improvement efforts come from people thinking they’re broken and so must fix themselves.

This is bullsh!t.

YOU ARE NOT your anxious mind, nor your uncontrolled emotions, nor your fat body (just kidding, I don’t know if you’re fat.)

You are the observer of these things.

And this changes everything.

Now, rather than feeling you’re broken and taking your flaws personally…

Instead it’s like you’re playing a video game… and what you used to think of as “you” is just the character you’re controlling.

Now you can acknowledge the character’s desire to eat Doritos—and all the sensations that come with that—and just eat broccoli instead.

The Self-Help Cheat Code

You’re probably thinking “Dan, I wish it were that easy.”

Here’s the thing: it actually is that easy. But this is what stumps everyone. Everyone thinks resisting temptation is hard for one reason only: they don’t want to experience the feelings that occur when they try. But if you acknowledge those feelings as only belonging to your character, now you can just let them be there. No big deal.

That is the self-help cheat code.

Tim S. Grover, coach to Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant and Dwyane Wade, said it this way:

“Get comfortable being uncomfortable.”

Even if this sounds far-fetched to you right now…

Even if you’re thinking “it can’t be that simple…”

Even if you’re thinking “it could never work for little old me…”

Can you acknowledge how f¥cking powerful it would be if you were comfortable being uncomfortable?

Imagine the things you’d be able to do:

  • Work longer
  • Work out longer
  • Ask for a raise
  • Eat better
  • Sleep less
  • Quit your job and follow your passion
  • Have that difficult conversation with your partner

I’m sure you can add at least 3 more points to that already-powerful list that are relevant to your own life.

But here’s the best thing about the self-help cheat code…

You get to level up faster than anyone else.

The Self-Help Quadrangle

Now, if you’re thinking “money isn’t a part of the self,” I refer you back to the chapters above, where I demonstrated that the idea of a self is really quite flexible.

Don’t think too hard on this—we’re moving into the practical part of this article now.

But before we do, let me demonstrate my own self-improvement journey with the self-improvement quadrangle:

Since my earliest memories I was desperate to understand myself and reality at the deepest level.

Of course, I couldn’t have told you that as a 4-year-old boy. But that desperation defined my life. (I’d have done much better in a Tibetan monastery than I did in school.)

It took me almost 3 decades, but eventually I found the answers I was seeking. This led to my spiritual and mental development being off the chart.

But as you can see, I neglected my body and my finances. In fact, I ruined my body playing drums professionally. And almost no-one pays freelance musicians well.

Since 2015, though, I’ve been repairing my body and I’m pleased to be back to baseline and in the gym 6 times a week.

And since 2022 I’ve been learning about business and, as you can see on the image above, I’ve managed a couple of level-ups financially.

Of course, none of these four corners of the self-improvement quadrangle are independent of one another.

The idea of doing something solely for money at the cost of my wellbeing always seemed absurd to me.

Now, could I have used money to further my mental and spiritual development? Probably. But I found a way to make it work anyway.

I never thought “I’m going to develop my mind and spirit before anything else.” It happened as naturally as breathing. That’s what real curiosity is like. I know school kills that for many of us, but I was fortunate enough to graduate with the fire in my belly still alight.

When I finally came to consider the “worldly” side of the chart—looking at how to generate wealth and get strong—I began to assess my position.

And I ended up feeling great about it for two reasons:

  1. No-one can ever take my spiritual and mental development away from me
  2. Mental and spiritual development make physical and financial development a lot easier

So for all the years I spent watching other people buying lamborghinis and big houses… For all the years I spent struggling with my body… I came to realize that in a way I’d been exercising a deep kind of impulse control. And that now I’m perfectly positioned to address those neglected areas.

What Shape Are You?

I suspect as you’ve been reading you’ve been considering what shape your quadrangle might be.

Don’t think too hard on it. Just trust your gut. It’s almost certainly correct.

In fact, if you look down at your gut right now it’ll tell you exactly where you’re at with your physical development!

And your bank balance will tell you where you’re at financially.

Mental and spiritual development are trickier to assess, but it can be done. There’s a lot of overlap here, so we’ll tackle both together. (Of course there’s nuance but we can only do so much in an article.)

Follow these steps to figure out how you’re doing:

  1. Start a fresh note
  2. Rank yourself out of 10 on the following qualities:
    1. Happiness
    2. Focus
    3. Persistence
    4. Conscientiousness
    5. Compassion
    6. Intelligence
    7. Problem-solving
    8. Decision-making
    9. Wisdom
    10. Discernment
    11. Openness
    12. Clarity
    13. Communication
    14. Confidence
    15. Generosity
  3. Add up your score

If you scored 150, congratulations! You’re incredibly well-developed mentally and spiritually. The closer to 0 you are, the more work you have yet to do.

But don’t worry—this work is the best work you’ll ever do. Yes, it’ll require energy, but the return on investment is insane. I mean, just imagine what your life would be like if you scored a 10 on all these qualities? And imagine how easy it’d be to develop your finances and your body from that place.

It’s worth it.

If you need help with your spiritual/mental development, I’m your guy.

If you need help with your financial development and you want to start a one-person, passion-based internet business, I might be your guy.

If you want to be the next Mr. Olympia, I'm not your guy.

But if you want a basic workout and nutrition program within a holistic protocol for self-improvement, I'm definitely your guy.

To talk about how I can help you specifically, click here to tell me about your goals and I’ll get back to you within 24 hours.

Win/win for the win,
dg <3

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