Not a subscriber?

Join 900+ readers mastering their minds and monetizing their knowledge:

Subscription received. If you don't get your confirmation email, check your spam folder. Still nothing? Email dan [at] dangoldfield [dot] com and I'll add you manually 💙
Tech fail 😑 Please try again or email dan [at] dangoldfield [dot] com and I'll subscribe you manually.




Founder, KorteX
3.5M followers top writer






"If you want practical strategies to maximize your own well-being, then create a profitable internet business around your passions, interests and curiosities – Goldfield is your guy."


i grew up terrified of sex.

but millennial british culture told me i had to get as much of it as i could (and more).

the peer pressure was suffocating.

if i was successful with girls i was accepted by my tribe. if not, i was rejected.

so for 15 years i tried everything to get laid—for all the wrong reasons.

first i tried guesswork.

then i tried whatever the older guys recommended.

then i tried whatever the internet recommended.

it rarely worked. and when it did, it didn’t lead to good experiences.

i didn’t know it at the time, but to have fulfilling intimate experiences i’d need to release some DEEP emotional baggage.

my journey with intimacy led me through jealousy, embarrassment, shame and guilt… yet somehow i ended up marrying the woman of my dreams (twice!)

this journey starts in the middle with a surprise encounter in deep meditation…

the root of my trauma

i was 33 when i met 5-year-old dan.

he was standing on the edge of the school playground watching the other kids play and feeling deeply confused.

they were playing a UK playground game called “kiss-chase” (essentially tag, but with lips).

odd, but pretty harmless. (the kisses were what you’d give a bunny rabbit, not what you’d give a tinder date.)

still, little dan didn’t get it. i’d figure out why later, but my first concern was for him.

i took his little hand and led him to a square of tiny benches with flowerpots at the corners.

our conversation didn’t play out like a real one.

since little dan was, obviously, me, it was much more like a vague merging of minds than a detailed dialogue.

i already knew what he was going to say. i just hadn’t acknowledged it till now because i’d suppressed this part of myself.

i rediscovered that little dan felt like an outsider as he watched the other kids playing their odd little game.

and in that moment i realized something that would make sense of my entire lifetime of struggles with intimacy…

little dan never saw his parents be affectionate to one another. nor his grandparents. nor anyone else who might’ve modelled affection for him.

big dan figured there was only one reason 5-year-olds would be playing that game of kiss-chase: they were imitating behaviour they’d seen elsewhere. but when it came to kissing, little dan had no-one to imitate.

so little dan’s first encounter with intimacy wasn’t in a safe context, but there on the school playground where kids point and laugh at each other. and he was often on the receiving end of that behaviour.

sitting on those playground benches my romantic life flashed before my eyes.

🔹 every time i’d been rejected
🔹 every awkward first kiss
🔹 every embarrassing attempt to navigate female anatomy

suddenly i had a “why” for all the difficulties i’d faced.

no-one ever even attempted to guide me through that stuff.

so i’d stacked those awkward experiences without a clue how they might’ve been different.

but worse, i’d stacked mental interpretations of what those experiences meant:

🔹 “i’m unattractive”
🔹 “girls don’t like me”
🔹 “sex is terrifying”

this became a self-fulfilling prophecy. one i was completely unaware of.

i’d figure out later that if i went into a date feeling unattractive then i would, naturally, be unattractive.

but through my late teens and early twenties—where it mattered most—i thought it was all about there being something wrong with me.

but here in this meditation, sat with little dan, i was able to shine the purifying light of new wisdom on all that old darkness.

because i’d been studying wisdom obsessively:

🔹 reading ancient texts
🔹 speaking with lineaged teachers
🔹 practising mindfulness every waking moment

in fact i’d been so immersed in wisdom teachings, personal development and psychology that once i accessed that old, hidden corner of my psyche it looked absurd...

🔹 of course it wasn’t little dan’s fault he felt like an outsider standing on the edge of that playground
🔹 of course it wasn’t teenage dan’s fault he’d been rejected
🔹 of course it wasn’t grownup dan’s fault he’d been dragging all this emotional baggage around with him

thanks to my mindfulness practice i was able to see this entire story—and all the pain that came with it—as the result of *causes and conditions:

  1. no-one ever demonstrated romantic affection for me at home
  2. this caused me to be confused when other kids started kissing each other
  3. this conditioned me to feel like an outsider
  4. this caused me to feel i wasn’t attractive
  5. this conditioned me to expect rejection
  6. this caused me to fear romantic interactions
  7. this conditioned me to fumble even when i had an opportunity
  8. this caused me to feel the sting of peer pressure even more deeply
  9. this conditioned me to want sex for the wrong reasons
  10. this caused the whole pattern to spiral into a feedback loop of anxiety

back on the playground i sat little dan on my lap and gave him a long, tight hug. the kind of hug you can only receive as a kid—when you can be fully enveloped by an adult and they make you feel completely safe.

but this hug was even better, because it expressed the care one can only give to oneself.

the adults who raised me, like everyone else, had their blind spots. one of these was the importance of guiding a kid through early experiences with intimacy.

so i went on a long, difficult solo journey. and the culmination of that journey was this moment, hugging my inner child, giving him the gift of peace.

natural therapy

my experience with little dan was profoundly healing.

curious about it, i investigated similar experiences reported by other practitioners.

first of all i found that many buddhist traditions call this kind of experience “purification”.

it’s common that practitioners, upon getting quiet in meditation, will come face-to-face with old unresolved issues. then, if they’re able, they’ll apply newly realized wisdom to that old issue and let it go.

i also discovered a modern parallel to my experience called “internal family systems therapy”. in this process a therapist guides a patient to encounter repressed “parts” of themselves, then understand and integrate them to let go of trauma.

here’s a simplified illustration of what happened to me (and others who’ve gone through this process):

i was born on the left as pure awareness (like everyone else).

then the grownups started imposing their rules and telling me things really mattered. this is what “reification” means: making things real, neglecting that how we experience things is due to interpretation. dissatisfaction went up. (disclaimer: i’m not saying we shouldn’t teach kids how to cross the road. different thing.)

i formed an identity around the things that seemed to matter most (e.g. “i should try to be cool. but wait, it doesn’t matter how hard i try, girls don’t like me.”)

this identity led to trauma as i experienced emotional turbulence around it.

finally i repressed that trauma so that i could do things like get work, earn money, and get laid at least a few times despite my insecurity.

when this all became too much, i took up mindfulness and dissolved those layers until i saw that my true identity was awareness the whole time.

so i’d stumbled upon an experience unanimously valued for its healing power, but what did this mean for me?

letting go: the way to get what you really want

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." - Lao Tzu (author of "Tao Te Ching")

following my encounter with little dan my whole relationship with intimacy underwent a rapid and profound overhaul.

first and foremost, the need for validation i’d been wearing like a poorly-fitting coat evaporated. i’d given little dan all the validation he needed, and this was like striking at the root of the whole issue. no longer did i seek the approval of women i met, nor my peers. i was finally self-validated.

second, i realized a couple of things:

a) i’d never wanted to be a “stud”—i’d never actually wanted one-night stands.

it became obvious to me that in my relationships to everything else in life i valued depth.

i didn’t enjoy artistic collaborations without first getting to know my collaborators. i didn’t enjoy surface-level, “small talk” interactions with friends and acquaintances.

yet, succumbing to peer pressure, i’d been trying to convince myself that i wanted to jump straight into physical intimacy with women i’d just met.

b) there was actually some solid reasoning behind my fear of sex.

still, to this day, the idea of getting a stranger pregnant is my worst nightmare. hell, i don’t want to have a kid with my wife!

i’d seen unwanted pregnancies happen to friends and they were not pretty. even those who planned for children reported that they couldn’t have known how much parenthood would change their lives.

now, for some, the risks involved with one-night stands might be worth it. but me, i always had other passions. first music, now mindfulness. and the disruption an unwanted pregnancy would cause to these pursuits never seemed worth betting on for the cheap reward of an orgasm. and this is to say nothing of the risk of std’s, nor the emotional turmoil that almost always follows any attempt at a “no strings” encounter.

of course, previously there’d been something else on the table for me: approval; validation. but now this was out of the picture i was able to see things as they really were.

all this made it easy to see that what i really wanted was a life-partner. someone with whom i was deeply compatible and with whom a baby wouldn’t be a total fucking disaster if it showed up by surprise.

so i deleted tinder and focused instead on a dating app called “OkCupid”.

i put my focus on OkCupid because, unlike the superficial “swiper” apps, it encouraged users to write something about themselves.

i had an old profile active there. but when i read it over it was clear to me that i’d been censoring myself when i wrote it.

mindfulness is cool now, but it wasn’t always

when i mentioned mindfulness to people in 2019 i typically received funny looks and/or awkward questions.

“what, you’re into that hippie bollocks?”

“oh so you just want to bliss out and forget your responsibilities?”

“meditation? what, are you religious now?”

when i wanted approval, these kinds of responses were difficult for me.

but when i let go they no longer mattered.

when i wanted to land as many dates as possible, i’d hesitated to write about mindfulness on my OkCupid profile.

but when i let go, i wrote about mindfulness because mindfulness was what i was interested in.

free of the desire for any specific outcome, i started reaching out to 40-60 potential dates every day.

where previously i’d cared deeply whether i got a response or not, feeling that a lack of response meant something about me and confirmed that i was unattractive…

now i was just gleefully casting my net without a care about what it brought in.

obviously, this meant i could cast a wider net.

it finally happened

one sunday morning i received a reply from a woman named Debbie.

i’d complimented a pencil drawing of a wine glass she’d uploaded, and she remarked that i was the only guy who commented on something she’d done rather than how she’d won the genetic lottery.

we texted a while, but i told her i’d have to cut our conversation short because i was attending a mindfulness meeting.

“oh you’re into mindfulness?!” she said, “i’m here in the UK to study psychology!”

and the rest is history: i married Debbie once here in the UK during lockdown, then again 3 years later in her hometown of Calcutta so we could do a real wedding, Indian style.

if i’d continued to repress my old trauma; to need validation; to fear intimacy; to censor myself, i never would’ve met my wife. much less would i have been attractive to her (most women detect neediness in a man the second he enters the room. but a psychologist is rocking spidey-sense level shit on this front.)

i got what i’d truly wanted all those years not by trying for it, but by letting it go.

i’m going to explain to you exactly how this works. but first i’m going to tell you why the typical way of trying to get things you want doesn’t work…

why is neediness such a turn-off?

a date really isn’t that different to a business transaction.

two people show up with at least a vague idea of what they want and what they’re willing to exchange for it.

of course, what they communicate openly about this and what’s instead only sub-communicated tend to be quite different. this is why so many people report not knowing why a date didn’t work out. things might’ve looked great on the surface... but the surface is utterly unimportant compared to what’s going on at the felt level.

but imagine a date in which everything was communicated openly.

you spot your date entering the fancy cocktail bar and you shout “i’m SO glad you actually showed up! wow, i really thought i’d been ghosted when i saw you were a minute late! hey, do you like my new shirt?”

you get settled and then the real fun begins.

“so listen, i really need someone who’s not going to comment on the size of my nose. i feel super insecure when someone i’m with looks at another man, so could you promise to never, never, never do that? i’m sensitive about my weight but i can’t stop eating Walker’s Max Cheese & Jalapeno crisps so i’ll need you to somehow encourage me to quit those… or just be okay with me being a little overweight.”

“oh, what’s that? what do you get in return? oh, i’ll like… pay half the bills?”

not a strong proposition, right? but here’s the thing: until you’re genuinely free of these kinds of needs you are subcommunicating them (through body-language, facial expression and tone of voice). that’s what i was doing before my encounter with little dan, and why a date can seem like it’s going well when it’s actually doomed.

no-one ever tells anyone straight that they’re unattractive.

this is why ghosting is so common. people would rather say nothing than say “i just sensed somehow that you eat too many Walker’s Max Cheese & Jalapeno crisps. this isn’t gonna work.”

the more you need from someone, the worse the proposition is for them. and this extends beyond dating into all your relationships.

“Dependency breeds resentment, not love.” - Jordan B. Peterson

now, wouldn’t it be great if you could make a proposition like this instead:

“listen, i’ve ditched my emotional baggage and i’m ready for a relationship that’s truly win/win. i’m okay on my own—i could live the rest of my life on my own—but a strong partnership could make us both better than we could ever be apart. i want to collaborate with you. i want to lift you up. i want you to lift me up. i want us to create a life of meaning and purpose and pleasure together.”

better pitch, right?

of course, to say all that would be to come on too strong. but my wife and i actually spoke about Stephen Covey’s paradigm of the interdependent relationship on our very first date. and we went on to make it happen.

so the big question is how do you do this?

how do you dissolve that emotional baggage?

how do you come to a place where you can truly make this attractive offer to someone?

i’ve got your back.

how to release trauma in meditation

my meeting with little dan came completely by accident. i wasn’t aiming to have that experience. it occurred because i’d created certain conditions:

  1. quiet
  2. calm
  3. readiness

these are easiest to achieve in that order.

1. quiet

to create quiet, it’s vital that you have easy access to a distraction-free environment. this is easier for some than others (if you’re a parent you’ll know exactly what i mean). but everyone has to shower or bathe, and so everyone has at least some distraction-free time every day. you can absolutely use this to meditate.

2. calm

here’s how to create calm:

  1. accept things as they are
  2. stop wishing things were different
  3. stop interpreting, judging, labeling, describing things
  4. when you notice tension or distraction, acknowledge this as successful practice
  5. repeat steps 1-4

if your nervous system is super active you can also use deep breathing to calm it down.

note: you do not need your mind to be silent to get benefit from meditation.

3. readiness

this is the part that will likely take longest. however, nothing in spiritual practice can be said to be truly bound by time.

some practitioners have experienced trauma release very soon after taking up a meditation practice.

others have waited years.

for me it was years. this is the more common arrangement.

along with your practice you’ll want to:

a) speak with a teacher
b) watch videos of wisdom teachers like Alan Watts, Ram Dass, Adyashanti, Mooji, Thich Nhat Hanh and Rupert Spira (find whichever one you resonate with most and go deep with them)
c) listen to audios from those teachers
d) read books from those teachers

this list is in order of preference. you want to have the most direct interaction you can with someone who’s figured this stuff out. naturally, a conversation is best while text is worst (but still beneficial).

remember how little dan needed wholesome behaviour modelled for him? this is what a teacher can do for you. (click here if you need guidance.)

if you’re not ready to encounter your trauma then you'll never be able to release it.

that said, please don’t rush this. that will only delay things.

i know your wish to be free of trauma may feel urgent. but relaxation is the key that unlocks everything here. this can be difficult to navigate, so your perspective on all this is vital. (you might find my ​overarching philosophy of awakening​ useful here.)

with love from my sofa,
dg 💙

share this article:

Social Share

Enjoyed this post? Click here to subscribe and get the next one delivered straight to your inbox.

Previous Issues of
The Freetirement Files

How to Win on Social Media

(Escape the Rat Race)

42% of solo business owners earn over $50,000 per year. And "solopreneurs", as a group, contribute a total of $1.3 trillion to the U.S. economy annually—with zero employees. Clearly, starting an online business is no longer an unsafe bet. Here's how to build the foundation of your own...

Continue reading →

How to Create Your Ideal Future

(Without a Vision You're Lost)

‍One of society’s greatest lies is that employment is stable. And one of society’s greatest blind spots is that the same technologies which are disrupting the workforce can enable you to create your own stability (from your couch). Here's how...

Continue reading →

10 Mindful Money Megahacks

(Delete Beliefs that Keep You Poor)

I was broke till I was 36. Then finally I found a way to earn money without sacrificing my wellbeing and integrity. Here are the 10 mindset shifts that made it possible.

Continue reading →

Mindful Money-Getting In 8 Steps

(How to Make Your Work A Spiritual Practice)

If you can't earn enough money, it's because you're not spiritual enough. And please don't listen to anyone who tells you that money will disrupt your spiritual practice. Money can't do that—it's just paper and metal. But what it can do is enable great benefit in the world. Here's how...

Continue reading →

How to Stop Killing Your Better Self

(The 5 Self-Help Non-Negotiables)

It's never been easier to settle for an average life. But this makes the winnings that much greater for those who rise up. Learn the 12 problems self-helpers are trying to overcome, the 6 problems with the most extreme solution, and the 5 non-negotiables that'll finally get you to your fullest potential.

Continue reading →

How to Make Dream Clients Come to You

(Without Spending a Single Dollar On Ads)

I look forward to every coaching call I host. Once I knew how to create my dream career it took just 5 months to go from my old life of compromise, fatigue, and selling my time for money... to my new life of passion, purpose and profit. You can make this shift too.

Continue reading →

The Self-Help Cheat Code

(How to Get Actual Results)

$7.52 billion: the current valuation of the self-help publishing industry. Yet only 3% of readers apply what they learn. It's clear: the answer you're looking for is not in the next bestseller. Here's how to get out of the trap.

Continue reading →

How to Make a Living on Social Media

(The Zero-Follower Money Method)

Everyone thinks you need 100,000 followers to make money online. Bullsh!t.There are people with over a million followers making no money. And there are people with 3000 followers doing $10K months (I achieved the latter myself). Here's the quick & dirty way to make it happen.

Continue reading →

The FIRST Thing to do About Any Problem

(How to Struggle Less)

"If you want good things in life, you have to suffer for them." That's what traditional schooling and parenting taught us, anyway. But the highest achievers of the East have been doing things differently for thousands of years. Here's their secret...

Continue reading →

How to Profit From Your Problems

(In 13 Little Steps)

some people never solve their problems. most people solve their problems without thinking about how their solution could be shared with others. but in the "freetirement" economy, we can do better...

Continue reading →

How to Earn Money Helping People

(3 Steps to Your Ideal Future)

People pay me $300 per session for coaching. They pay me this much because I help them solve problems that are costing them more than that. But over the past 6 months people have started asking me to help them with a different problem: they want to know how to help people like I do (so they can quit that job they hate). Here's what I tell them...

Continue reading →

How to Stop Beating Yourself Up

(The Sustainable Way to Motivate Yourself)

You can’t force motivation. The more you try, the more it escapes you. So after 30 years trying to whip myself into shape, I experimented with going the other way. Here's how I 100X'd my motivation (without hustling).

Continue reading →

The One Question You Must Answer

(Before You Can Find True Happiness)

I contemplated this question for a whole year. But it was worth the wait, because once i had my answer, everything changed: I became happier than i ever thought possible, married the love of my life, and transitioned out of my old "time-for-money" business into my new "expertise-for-money" mission. Let me accelerate the process for you.

Continue reading →

How to "Freetire" Yourself

(Without Leaving Your Sofa)

Solopreneurs made $5 TRILLION in 2023. 0.00002% of that will make you a millionaire. Here's how to start your own internet business (with zero experience or capital).

Continue reading →

The Real Reason You Can't Stick to Anything

(Why New Year's Resolutions Don't Work)

Only 1 in 100 people will take their new year’s resolution all the way to december. ​So why does everyone keep trying? Because no-one knows about the better option. Here it is...

Continue reading →

How to Stop Working Too Hard

(And Earn MORE Money)

55% of U.S. employees failed to take all their paid time off in 2023.​ They may as well be walking to the ATM, drawing out days' worth of pay and sliding it into their employer's wallet. Don't spend the rest of your life in this trap. Here's how to wriggle out of it...

Continue reading →

How to Get the Ultimate Perspective on Yourself

(Let Go of Your Emotional Baggage)

The way you see things determines your entire reality. So of course it's pretty damn important how you see yourself. In this guided meditation i'm going to lead you through a brief study of the breath, the body, the emotions and the thoughts. Then, finally, we'll relax into the ultimate perspective on all of them, enabling you to let them go and be free.

Continue reading →

How to Take Back Control of Your Life

(In Just 3 Weeks)

1 in 2 people will develop a mental health disorder in their lifetime. You do NOT want to end up on the wrong side of that statistic. Here's a simple process for keeping yourself in control and off the psych ward.

Continue reading →

How to Get, Have, and Be Anything You Want

(Without Even Trying)

Since 2017 I've married the woman of my dreams, 5X'd my income and tripled my energy. But no-one in my own culture could've told me how to do so. I had to look elsewhere. Let me save you 7 years and give you the solution right here...

Continue reading →

5 Relationship Tips From a Guy Who Married a Psychologist


In 2016 I was needy as hell, which was quite a turnoff for the ladies. But by the time I took my wife on our first date in 2019 I was 100% self-validated. Here's what I learned in those 3 years...

Continue reading →

How to Delete The 6 Mind Viruses That Keep You Poor, Sick & Miserable

(In Just 12 Weeks)

I get up at 5, do creative work for 4-8 hours, develop new ways to help people, share my ideas, go to the gym, coach, talk to my audience and other creators, have dinner with my wife, study, read, go to bed, then get up and do it all again. 7 days a week. I’m effectively retired because I’d be doing this same routine if i were already a billionaire. But this was only possible once I did what i’m going to share with you here…

Continue reading →

How I Meditated My Way to Freetirement at 36

(Retirement Is For Losers)

Imagine i approach you right now and say i want 40 hours of your life every week for 47 years. If you make it to the end of those 47 years I’ll set you free. Any wear and tear on your body, mind and spirit is forfeit. I won’t guarantee you’ll make it to the finish line. Nor will i guarantee how long you’ll live into your freedom. Sound like a good deal? No? Ok, here's a better offer...

Continue reading →

How to Earn More Money By Relaxing

(Why Hustling Is No Longer Optimal)

The most harmful belief in work culture is that simple effort is the magic spell for earning more money. This is harmful not only because it builds up heart attack levels of stress… but because it doesn’t f¥cking work—not in the 21st century. Here's the better way to boost your income (without busting your balls)...

Continue reading →

3 Lessons on Happiness From a Senior Monk

(And How They Saved Me From Depression)

i spent the whole of my 20’s in chronic pain. and the solutions i was trying were digging me into a pit of depression. 29,366 hours of mindfulness later, things are pretty f¥cking different. Here are the 3 best lessons I learned on happiness from my ~300 hours in one-to-one conversation with a senior monk.

Continue reading →

How to Release Trauma In Meditation

(Heal Your Inner Child)

I grew up terrified of sex. But millennial British culture told me i had to get as much of it as I could (and more). So for 15 years I tried everything to get laid—for all the wrong reasons. Much later, in deep meditation, I had an encounter with my inner child that put everything right. 2 weeks later, I met the woman who would become my wife. Here's what I did to make myself ready for her.

Continue reading →

How to 48X Your Meditation in 4 Weeks

(Without Going On Retreat)

The average meditator aims for 15 mindful minutes per day. So what about the other 945? If you really want true happiness, you're going to have to learn to be present in EVERY moment. Good news: this isn't as hard as it sounds. Let me explain...

Continue reading →

10 Mindfulness Success Stories

(For The Doubters & Procrastinators)

If mindfulness feels like a chore you're doing it wrong. You need proper motivation. And nothing is better motivation than a good success story. So here's 10...

Continue reading →

Here's Why You Need "Spiritual Practice"

(It's Simpler Than You Think)

I have a student who feels free and easy for a while but then falls back into a familiar mental trap. If this sounds like you, we need to make sure you're clear on what spiritual practice is, what it can do for you, and how to proceed with it (so you're not just going round in circles).

Continue reading →

1 Step to Instant Enlightenment

(The Direct Path to Effortless Wellbeing)

You don't have to meditate for years. You don't have to develop wholesome qualities. You don't have to contemplate the nature of reality. All you have to do is recognize what's already true. Here's how...

Continue reading →

Do This When You're Stuck In Life Or Business

(7 Steps to Finding Your Perfect Mentor)

Without the guidance i’ve received throughout my life i’d be a drunk, broke, fat, lazy mess. Intelligent co-operation is the unique edge of our species, and nowhere is this more obvious than in our ability to learn from one another. if you’ve never had a mentor, you're WAY behind where you could be in life. But it’s not too late. Here's how to get the guidance you need, step-by-step...

Continue reading →

How to Perform Like The Top .1%

(Without Beating Yourself Up)

Millions of people squeeze a 20-minute meditation into their morning routine, then hope it’ll sustain their performance throughout the day. They may as well believe in magic. Here's how to GUARANTEE consistent peak performance (without hustling yourself into burnout).

Continue reading →

3 Steps to Realize Ultimate Wellbeing

(The Simplest Way to Ditch Your Emotional Baggage)

Most people overcomplicate spiritual awakening. But in the 21st century, we're finally able to cross-reference wisdom from different cultures, ditch the baggage, apply modern science and get down to what really works. Follow these 3 steps to cut the cr^p and ditch your anxiety, depression and self-hatred for good.

Continue reading →

The Biggest Challenge In My Spiritual Journey

(Save a Year by Skipping This)

If you've ever been confused about which spiritual practice to commit to, you're not alone. I spent a whole f¥cking YEAR looping on this. But the solution was right under my nose the whole time. Let me give it to you right now (and save you a lot of headaches)...

Continue reading →

How to Make Friends & Enjoy Win/Win Arrangements

(Without Even Trying)

Everything great that humans have achieved has been achieved by teamwork. Unfortunately, many people struggle to unlock their true friend-making potential because of insecurity, doubt and anxiety. Here's a simple 3-step process you can use to delete your fears and start getting all the benefits of collaboration.

Continue reading →

How to Stop Wasting Your Time In Meditation

(7 Insights to Save You 1000 Hours of Practice)

Over 8 years, I spent 29,366 hours experimenting with every mindfulness technique available. I checked my results with a senior monk and a neuropsychologist. Want to know a secret? Meditation isn’t necessary. Contemplate these 7 insights. If you understand them, you can save yourself a lot of time.

Continue reading →

How to Avoid The #1 Cause of Stress

(3 Steps to Avoid Early Death)

A 2012 study by NHS Scotland found that "psychological distress is associated with increased risk of mortality from several major causes." It's proven: stress is literally a matter of life or death. Here's how to get out of the trap (and stay out).

Continue reading →

How to Get What You Want In Life

(3 Steps to Stop Feeling Lost)

Unless you know what you want, it’s impossible to get it. Sounds obvious, but you’d be amazed how many of my 1,000+ one-to-one students have been confused on this subject. Here's how to find your north star and get on the road to a life of wealth, freedom, love and inspiration.

Continue reading →

How To Attract Your Perfect Life-Partner

(Avoid the #1 Killer of Attraction)

A strong romantic partnership is the ultimate team. Sadly, most people never even meet their perfect partner—let alone attract them and make them happy for a lifetime. Here's how to make sure you don't miss out on the most significant relationship you'll ever have.

Continue reading →

How to Maintain Healthy Social Boundaries

(The Power of Saying No)

The main reason you struggle to say "no" is fear of what will happen if you do. But have you ever seen things going badly for someone who has their boundaries dialled in? Me neither. Here's how to value your time properly and take it back (before you run out of it altogether)...

Continue reading →